This is NOT a singles ad:

You know what?

I just want to fly. I don't need laser vision, telekinesis, invincibility, and I would flat out HATE being immortal. Just to be able to fly (without any kind of extra equipment, obviously.)

Think about it. Soaring through the city, looking at the cleavage on the college students from above, getting free sh!t for autographs, flying would be awesome. Not to mention the cash you'd save not paying to fly places. Or for gas, or even a car. You'd just freaking FLY everywhere.

Allow me, while I've paused in ranting, to discuss /why/ I've told the lot of you this. Because it will lead to the topic I'm getting at. More on that soon. See, this is the puffed up, full version of what I told my girlfriend last night, when we were texting. Now, there's another blogger, without a girlfriend. His name is Eric. This is NOT a singles ad for him, this is (SPARTA) a promotion. His blog is one of the greatest that I am graced to read. Sadly, almost no one reads it. So, if the lot of you felt like it, change that. Maybe I'll then share the URL of another blog that the lot of you have been asking for (hint: shannon's).

Please? It'd mean a lot to me, and the man is fantastic at what he does. Comment on his blog, if you read it.

Now then, to more business:

Welcome Home, by Coheed and Cambria, is the greatest song anywhere, for anything, by anyone, forever. However, I find myself less in love with their other music (though A Favor House Atlantic is pretty good, as well.) I discovered this song when it was introduced to me (wait, what?) in the car, with three other men who were dressed in black. There were guns in the trunk.

They were Nerf guns. Chris, Jon, Thomas, and yours freakin' truly had an epic Nerf war at Arbolado park, which ended in a tie. We also managed, between us, to lose 14 darts. Oh well. Some lacrosse players asked Chris and I what grade we were in. We told the truth. They may or may not have been pedophiles.

I've also recently sworn off /b/ for a month. /b/ is the worst part of 4chan.org, full of racism, sexism, homophobia, and pedophiles. After noticing that spending time there has begun to effect my personality, outside of /b/, I've decided to stay way for a month, or at least until I can keep /b/ in /b/ and keep myself normal in the real world.

Also, Lydia and Allie (as in Allie Philips, chris's ex) are planning to, somehow, get Chris, Lydia, Allie and I all together in one house. Despite the fact that this sounds like it's leading to a climax of godlike proportions, the kind of climax you lose your virginity to, it isn't. They want to give Chris a makeover. Now, I'm not bashing anyone's tastes here. Everyone is entitled to ideas. It's just, Chris does NOT need to be wearing guyliner (that is, eyeliner on a guy) or dye his hair black, as they want him to. Remember mark, before he was mark, when he was still eddy? He didn't wear eyeliner, and looked great. Then he did. And I didn't like it. It would be even worse on Chris. Like, a million times worse. I'm not supposed to be telling you lot about this.

But I did. Oh my! Now, go fly, comment on Eric's blog, listen to coheed and cambria, get a nerf gun, stay away from /b/ and don't make chris wear guyliner. If you can, do all of them at once.