Or two, or maybe three, depending on how this goes.
First, the last post wasn't going to be a short-ass little thing. I was going to re-write an impromptu speech I gave to several women in the wee hours of the morning as part of a long campaign to get them shirtless. It didn't work. However, as I was writing it, I got up to say something to Chris, and Conor and Justin grabbed my laptop, wrote the last three words of the last post, and published it. I suppose that's my fault. I sort of explained it on facebook, my bad.
Anyway.
I've been gone for a few weeks, and it seems almost no one had any idea where or why. Contrary to some rumors, NASA did not, in fact, seize me and put me together with several attractive women as part of a mission to bring hawtness to the stars, but instead I was staffing (volunteer-style) at Wente Scout Reservation.
So how'd it go? Well, I was disrespected, disliked, liked, still not respected, trusted, hit on, slapped in the face by strokes of luck and my ability to take advantage of them, and, in the end, given something which many of my contemporaries only dream of. But I'll get to that later. Maybe.
Look, I was a CIT. That meant I was the lowest staff position there, and so, fittingly, I got the shit jobs. Like gate duty. Gate duty is the hellish spawn of safety and customer service, which meant that I, respectively, was hated by everyone and hated everyone. I mean, my job was to make sure a bunch of twelve year olds didn't forget their tags when entering the waterfront, to make sure they put them up, and to make sure they took them down again. I also had to deal with them whining as they showed up half an hour early and whined as they were forced to stay outside.
I was nicknamed 'Sunshine' by one camper, because I was sick for literally all but four days of my experience, and I had to get up before the sun did. As a result, I was cheery and pleasant all day. Also, my tongue is bleeding from all the sarcasm. Seriously, though, Sunshine. I sort of wanted it to stick. I did get to be a lifeguard, though, and some of the scouts weren't half bad. I was respected by them, because we staff have a magical freaking aura making us magical and amazing because of our job. It's neat.
Some of the highlights of my trip include whitewater kayaking, jumping off a thirty-foot rock into the water, twice, screaming, swimming in a lake at one AM, shooting archery, shirtless, at two, making out, doing other things I can't discuss, doing other, even dirtier things that I /really/ shouldn't even mention, riding in vans, playing with butterfly knives, going to drive in movie theaters, playing love doctor again, and wearing seven pairs of boxers for three weeks without doing laundry once. I had four shirts the entire time, as well. Also, there are only three sentences in this paragraph.
I also gained a friend with benefits, lost one, lost the other, gained one back, gained another, and forgot the other as I left knowing they were totally okay with me doing so. (I lost the other one, too, for good reason.)
I got into Magic cards, as well. It's a fun game. I had my love of techno and dubstep rekindled, and I spent three weeks gaining an amazing tan and more memories than I could have thought possible. Weirdly enough, I also had two out of body experiences, both of which lasted less than a second and make me think of Fight Club every time I remember them. Which reminds me, me and a guy roughed around, and he could barely touch me. Martial Arts training rocks.
So that's where I was for three weeks. I love you all. Comments, questions, flames for doing a journal post?
Go nuts, people.
