Moving on, I'm writing this to one-up Ian, at his own blog, I.A.N.S. (I Am Not Serious). He wrote a list of twenty things he did that day. I intend fully to not only beat him, but destroy him, utterly and totally, on a scale that is unimaginable by your feeble human minds. I will annihilate him so totally, to absolutely, that he shall completely cease to exist, and it will be such epic pwnage that it will reach backwards, tearing the fabric of time, in order to destroy any chance of him ever existing, starting by destroying this universe, and creating an entirely new one, which will begin with a huge explosion of awesome from my own list. Being time travel, however, this has already happened.
This leads to the logical conclusion, of course, that all of you are a direct result of my own awesomeness. Which makes me sort of... your god, doesn't it? Quite so. Think about that as you read your own origins, presented in list form:
1. I woke up at about 8, today. This was far too early, hence I hit play on my ipod and dozed off again.
2. I woke up around 10. It was much better, as it was bigger. This leads to the logical conclusion that I am infinitely superior to all males, of any race, species, planet or time period, forever.
3. I went downstairs for food. After gazing at the unremarkable contents of our kitchen, I had a lean pocket, and went back upstairs.
4. Follow gears of war 2, and some facebooking. Rather uninteresting.
5. I missed Lydia a bit, at this point. It was not fun.
6. I went back downstairs at 11:30, and had lunch. This was also a lean pocket.
7. I was yelled at by my beloved father for not drowning myself in academia 10 days before finals. God forbid. He'll love the party I'm going to next weekend.
8. I noted, at some point, that some of the events of last night may not have been in my best judgement. This was unfortunate, but not terrible. They are rather funny, though.
9. Dreaded art class, whenever I may take it, as I looked on the excuses for art I have on my wall. Lydia's watercolor looks nice, though.
10. I achieved double digits.
11. I shaved my moustache off. It was a great relief, as I did not like it. I now need to get rid of the budding mutton chops on my cheeks. >.<
12. Listened to Alive With the Glory of Love 80 times in a row. Really. Eighty. This got me through the majority of the book I had to finish today, Doors Open.
13. Began my book report, then stopped because I didn't care.
14. Thanked Martin Luther King Jr. for existing and doing his deeds, which get me tomorrow off, so I can afford to not care.
15. Is how old I'll be in a few weeks. I'm pretty damn pumped.
16. Learned a bit of football history, and the power of middle-aged men.
17. Is how old my sister will be in the same amount of weeks. I'm not as pumped.
18. Is possibly the greatest age ever. I can't decide between wanting to be it and wanting to enjoy the years that are on the interim.
20. Enjoyed Randal Munroe and his genius.
21. There's no 19. Did any of you notice? Tell in the comments. Be honest.
4 comments:
Oh I noticed. And you haven't destroyed me. You've simply played right into my trap card.
ahhhh shit it just got stoopid all up in here. and as to the bday thing when is urs?
I did not notice, because I didn't have the chance. The last one caught my eye and I read it first. Oh well, still a good list haha
jesus, this post showed me that ian posted for once on his blog! Thanks!
keep posting damn you.
also, what trap card was it ian? because i happened to let anthony borrow my MYSTICAL SPACE TYPHOON CARD (which fyi if you're not a yu-gi-tard means your trap card gets destroyed)
and i did the same thing as Halley. You say you're going to one up him of COURSE everyone's going to skip to the last one to see if you did it :D
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