Jeff, The Incredibly Cool Learning Skeleton

[His full title describes how awesome I am, actually, but that's because the guy isn't a half-bad wingman at goth bars.]

[semi-funny stuff is in normal text, red is boring moral because I wrote this for a school assignment.]

It's a point of pride with me that I have quite a few friends. Between Chris, Scott, AJ, Andrew, Jessica, Katie, Gabby, Tarra, Stephanie, Mark, Jon, Alex, John, the other Alex, Justin, Conor, and a few dozen more people I could name, I really shouldn't have to spend my day with, say, a dead body in order to not be alone. Unfortunately, I'm a terrible planner, and such a day came where I couldn't do anything with anyone, and was as such forced to haul a dead body out of a shed we have out back and spend the day with it. I was firmly under the assumption that this dead body would be a pretty cool character, for a few reasons. Let me talk about how cool this guy seemed to be.

Our society would have it that skinny is 'in'. Well let me tell you, this guy brought a whole new meaning to the phrase, "skin and bones". I mean, he didn't even have skin, just bones! Now that's skinny. He didn't say much, either; a very stoic fellow, disillusioned by years of incredibly cool acts, no doubt. He was so cool, the whole time I was hauling him out of the shed he didn't say a word. Not the best conversationalist, but a pretty cool guy all the same (maybe even because of that). Between his stoicism and his nearing-on-terrifyingly-thin body, I could tell from the start he was a very cool character.

So, I hauled him out of the shed, dusted him off, splashed him with water for no readily available reason, dried him, threw him in the car, and the skeleton (who I named 'Jeff' after the comedian Jeff Foxworthy) and I were off on our merry way. Jeff and I first stopped at the park. Usually, when friends and I go to Arbolado, we have a nerf war, play hide-and-go-seek, or just run around the play structures like we're five. Well, Jeff didn't turn out to be so good at nerf wars, was terrible at hide and go seek, and I'm not sure he even tried to run around when I suggested it. I was dissapointed, I thought that such a cool customer as Jeff might enjoy a bit of foolery. He was pretty serious, though, so I decided to go somewhere more serious but also fun: the mall.

We got a ride to Sun Valley, and I pulled Jeff out of the car as usual. I took just two steps when Jeff collapsed next to me. He just laid there, on the ground, ignoring my every plea. It turns out Jeff was 'too cool' for the mall. I was fairly fed up at this point. So I took Jeff by his sun-bleached, bony arm, and dragged him to a bench. Once we were at the bench, I proceeded to explain to Jeff that while I thought he was a pretty cool guy, I thought it'd be best if we went our seperate ways. He and all of his other serious, "cool", dead friends could do their thing, and my friends and I would have fun and not worry about what people thought. Jeff sort of nodded at the end, so I knew he got my message. With that, I left him there on his park bench, to the tune of the usual whispers of confusion and interest and the screams of terror that accompanied Jeff's presence.

I learned a lot in my day with Jeff. I learned that his outward, "cool" appearance had little influence on what a boring guy he turned out to be. No matter how skinny and stoic he is, he just wasn't fun, and that wasn't something that could be made up for. I learned that the inside, how people feel, and what they do, is far more important than how "cool" someone looks. I learned this because his awesomely skinny and stoic exterior did nothing when he wouldn't run with me at the park or even enter the mall.

I think I'm now more prone to judge people once I get to know them, not just after I see them. That said, I do sometimes still face that challenge, as people can appear quite two-dimensional. It's simply a fact of life, however, that people are not. Many people I thought air-headed and inconsistent turned out to merely be projecting a happy image while deep down they were complex, often sad, people. It's what's inside people, deep down, even in the marrow (for Jeff, especially), that's important, and it's especially important to remember that instead of judging people to be only skin-deep.