BY REQUEST!

I'm re-posting both of my escapades with my ex-girlfriend here.

The Twenty Calories Per Cracker Incident:

So, I'm sitting there, innocently minding my own business and eating some animal crackers, when suddenly my ex-girlfriend comes up and wrenches them out of my hand, and begins to tell me how fattening they are. Twenty calories per cracker! Twenty! She then prevents me from grabbing them by grabbing me, which nearly sparked into a fight. But of course I would never hit a girl.
;)

Part Deux:

So, following Shannons attacking of my diet, Jessica grabs a piece of bread, coated lightly in mustard. This she slapped into my face. I, in turn, grabbed the piece and shoved it into her hair, and moved on. Later, after a bout of arguing with Shannon, I was assaulted again by a sandwich half, now complete not only with mustard, but with meat and lettuce. This was shoved into me, and in turn I chased Jessica around with it, and was about to deliver my just retribution when a certain annoying yard duty thought I was trying to kill her, and began shouting at me. Despite the fact that I explained that it was all Jessica's fault and we had just been playing anyway. She yelled anyway, then yelled at jessica for laughing.

So, thats what happened. :P