You Know, I Once Wrote the Better Part of A Post On Lies

But today, I'm not going to complete it. I just want you to remember something they told us as kids. Remember when we all thought our parents would always stay together and we'd never have our hearts broken and none of us would ever turn to drugs or alcohol and we'd all be good looking and intelligent and in no way end up like those homeless people who we would see when we went to the city? We were taught this. We were taught, one way or another, that the world was nigh-on-perfect.

It used to be people with problems weren't the norm. That fucked up was quite the strange expression, and not because of the vulgarity, but because we didn't need such a phrase. We didn't have big problems when we were little, and no one would tell us about it. There's good reason for that: why end the fun early?

Everyone knew it would end, except for us. Our parents knew we'd have terrible events in our lives, so they had us live idealistic lives as long as we could. But look what it's like now? Family members with cancer, dead relatives, drugs, alcohol, oppression, hate, and I'm only exposed to the worse elements by friends. I honestly can't imagine what it's like to live the lives some people I know do. I respect them forever for what they soldier through. Some people deal with parents who hate them, violent parents, the ones who're never there, all kinds of terrible things.

It's hard to talk about these things. It is, really. I live a much better life than I could, I recognize that. As do a lot of people. The problem is some people won't admit that they have a need for support.

We have each other. We're here for each other. I'm nothing more than a crutch for you to lean on. Remember that, people. And don't praise me. Everyone has, at some point or another, been the crutch. You just need to remember to do so.

The sad part is that such an object as a crutch is necessary. (Not the physical object. The metaphor.) I mean, fuck. Look at all the shit people have to deal with. It's fucking heartbreaking. There's a reason you see so many people dealing drugs at high school. Because it's a violent climax for all that shit. And it just fucking strikes us, with hardly a warning in middle.

I wish I could write more. But what's the fucking point? All of you, each and every one, has dealt with shit. I may even have /been/ part of that shit for a time, and for that, I'm sorry. You all know what I'm talking about. That one thing that just makes you cry, whether it's over a lover, or someone dead, or hate and oppression, or someone who, as a result, you can't help but wish was dead. Maybe it's regret at something you did once, in the heat of the moment and the utter unpreparedness we all share when faced with said shit. Maybe it's something else destroying you from inside, or maybe it's something outside. I don't know, I can't know, because I have my own problems, luckily, I got off fucking lightly.

I'll happily be your crutch, however, because I know each and every one of you will now drift back to that piece of shit ruining your life.

And remember how I told you about that post about lies? That first bit /was/ the lie. That hopeless idealism that those in charge of us instilled in us. They painted the world a bright shade of yellow and told us it was golden. Fucking lying bastards. It's only now I've come to realize that that bright yellow was nothing other than the hateful bastards ruining people's lives pissing on the goddamn world.

Fuck it all.

Politics

Because I'm really, really fucking tired of seeing that one line at the top of this page. And it's been a week. Again. Fuck.).

That said, I /finally/ got an idea for a post. It came to me while I was sitting in Spanish, reflecting on the lecture we'd received on the Vietnam war in geography the period before. I was thinking, as he talked about the whole commie north vs democratic south as an extension of US vs USSR (or CCCP if you feel like it) fight. Which got me thinking about politics, which I think about a lot.

Now, I don't want you to skim that last line. I theorize about the possibilities of a government-free state (anarchy) but then I always get to the enforcement of commonly accepted rules. You need a body to enforce that. Because BTECAR (Body That Enforces Commonly Accepted Rules) wasn't a catchy acronym, the guys in the PR department said, "Fuck it!" tossed some letters in the air and 'government' was born.

I always come back to that. There are a lot more complexities to government, but on the most conceptual level, I think one can agree that a government exists to keep the people living happy lives. Here, have some evidence.

Look at Karl Marx (writer of The Communist Manifesto, father of communism, most popular philosopher of all goddamn time) with his book, The Communist Manifesto, he laid down a system which is, on paper, utopia. You get what you need and you give away the extra. There's a committee who runs this shit, making sure everyone's happy. Good times, right? I'll get back to this.

Take whatever fucker invented Capitalism. You sell some shit, get some cash, and before you can say bitches n' hoes, you're buying shit and being like, "this is pretty dope". You're happy because you have money and probably a few hoes. You're happy, right?

Or my personal favorite (and philosophy): Utilitarianism. That mouthful can be oversimplified to this: "Do whatever the fuck you want, unless it harms others, but remember hurting yourself hurts the community, so don't be stupid." There's a lot more to it, but that's it. I'd agree the freedom to do the fucktons of shit that doesn't harm others is a nice thing to have. I'd be damn happy.

What I'm trying to get across here is half the crucial point of this post: Government exists to make people happy. (Disagree? Argue in the comments, but read the rest of this first.)

So I was thinking about that, and my thoughts drifted a bit to violence, as they're want to do. When you think about it, you get to the /other/ half of the crucial point of this post: Government exists to make people happy, but the wars that we fight over them don't make anyone happy. Rather than propagating Anarchy here, I'm saying think a bit about how much sadness politics has brought. It's kind of a farce:

All the deaths in the Vietnam war (which is measured in tens of thousands for the US /ALONE/) are because the Commie North invaded the Democratic South, and over the course of a decade, everyone went wild with the violence sticks and killed a metric fuckton of people. Why? Because the the Commies and the Democrats didn't agree on how to run shit.

How about every political assassination, ever? Murder murder murder, politics politics politics. Or all those who've died in riots, which rise whenever a stupid government herp derps their way through a stupid policy and the people herp derp their way into a big square where the police herp derp and herpa derpa derpa, /DEATH/.

This post is making it seem like I don't value politics.

Let me clear that up. I think politics are quite necessary in the way a flushing toilets are necessary. Yes, we could live without them, but most of us not very long (and those left, life would be shit. Get it? Shit? I'm not funny. ) I take a Utilitarian (protip: that's required fucking reading) stance, which is better explained there than it was a few paragraphs ago. I'll wait while you read that.

Really, this whole post can be summed up as such: Politics are a bitch (see: uncounted goddamn deaths via politics), but are a necessary evil, and they can be grandly improved by a certain version of leadership, which as a Utilitarian I'll say is utilitarianism. But it's important to have your own opinion (this post was almost about that), so argue the fuck out of this. Your political philosophy, why you grandly disagree with my general hatred of politics, why you're never reading this again because of this post, any fucking ideas on what the next can be, et goddamn cetera.

Also, a compliment would be nice.

I miss talking... I'll do a post about it.

This May Seem Like an Innocent Explanation,

But it's also a setup for constant referrals to my blog, and (as a more positive act, that is, one that might /improve/ some lives) draw attention to the Day of Silence, which might lead to more participators and in the long run (with a little luck) more gay rights. So what I'm doing here is posting for fucking JUSTICE.

[this bit was written last night. I'm not changing a single word.]

In other words, not at all what you're expecting.

Tomorrow, or today for when most of you will read this, is the day of silence. The National Day of Silence. With capital letters because it is, in fact, serious business. It's this rally-type thing where peeps across the country stay silent for a day to protest the abuse directed at the LBGT community. I feel strongly about gay rights (no shit, sherlock, look at the post below) and as such I'm participating.

Fucking awesome, let me tell you. You should too.

[here we go, post-day thoughts]

First off, it's still the day of silence. But I'm not seeing anyone for the rest of today (unknown if I'll leave my goddamn /room/) so I figured /fuck it/ I'm done for today. I love gays as much as the next guy, and anyone who knows me knows that I hate the /fuck/ out of the oppressive bigots apparently making up the majority of the state, but I needed to talk for my grandma's birthday. Fun times (read as: awkward. Whatever.)

ANYWAY, now that my silence is (officially) over, I'm posting some post-speakum impressions.

First off, there /were/ fun times. This wasn't a horrifyingly solemn event (or I'd have my ass kicked for saying no less than forty-three words today during my time), and playing charades /all fucking day/ is a blast. But no one understood me, so I wrote all over my arm. Also, communication through smiles and (dirty) looks (that's a song name waiting to happen) is more of a fucking blast. Interestingly enough, I also had two chicks in my lap today, and two more under my arms for extended periods of time. What a fucking awesome day. And I said less words than I use in a text.

There were some douchebags, of course. Like that dude in second period who had a problem with transsexuals, or people who didn't participate because of what we were protesting. Note that I'm not calling people who knew about it but didn't participate douchebags, just the ones who're bigots.

There were, however, way too fucking many heroes for my cynical mind to comprehend. I mean, Morise, this senior in Chem, spent time arguing with said douche who hated transsexuals because he's fucking awesome like that. Major props. And there were people who thought it was awesome that I was doing such a thing (albeit with some major slip ups), or the people who were going to participate but forgot about it, and all the people who didn't mind speaking to the dude who was (mostly) mute throughout the day.

Special shout outs to Chris, who miraculously understood like, everything I was saying, and Tarra, who still fucking owes me.

Talking is still wierd, yes. Like trying to jack off in public, it's awkward and forced, and often just doesn't finish. My words trail off halfway through my saying them. Tomorrow, I will mend that with a few million grunts (I'll be being beat up in a martial arts tourney I volunteered to dummy for. Ow. >.<. This isn't a journal bit, it's an explanation of why I can't late night effect the hell outta the whores post. Sorry, everyone. Tomorrow night, I swear.)

People admitted to feeling weird talking to me, since I could only really respond with nods, smiles, and hand gestures (until I invariably took out a piece of paper and a pen, which I lost). It made me wonder if a mute ever feels like this, wanting to respond but unable to. Which reminds me, all of you readers in my 6th period, who taunted me? You're all dead.

All in all, fantastic day. It was my first time in memory being a part of any kind of large, formal event that wasn't a fucking party, so it felt really good. I've had an itch to do some protesting recently, and this really helped with that. Good times. Maybe it's the chicks-in-my-lap feeling talking, but awesome day. Eddie is pissed at me for... things, but whatever, he'll get over it.

Now, comment, since /you lot/ (except Halley) didn't have to shut up all day (except fifth period. /FUCK/ fifth period).

PS (parentheses).

To the Contrary, Anon.

Good day, readers. This is a unique post. See, an anon recently commented (link) on my homosexuality post, and I promised them an entire post as a rebuttal. The comment wreaks of Shannon (apologetic, angry, religious, and has this blog address? Shannon.) but I won't make any more references to that for the entirety of this post. We'll assume it was her friend from a while back (that anon who bashed halley, remember?). Unlike theirs, of course, this one is going to be coherent, readable, and correct.

What I did, as opposed to simply slapping them and getting on with my day, was spend the better part of an hour fixing their comment so it was readable, then issuing a point-by-point rebuttal in red. For clarity:

[Stupid comment.] [Admittedly slightly cruel rebuttal, but one with reason and logic behind it.] [Next stupid comment] [Next rebuttal.]

The entirety of what is to follow was drafted and written in under an hour, but it's not like it was hard to pick apart their logic. Major apologies if I offend any of you for bashing the bible, but know that it's simply how I feel about it and it's not something I look to shove in your face on a daily basis. I suppose it's how I treat my atheism, that is, while respecting other people's views.

Ok. So let's say I supported Yes on 8. Does that make me a homophobic? NO. Yes. You're taking away rights from someone because of who they are. That's oppression, or more simply, bullying. Bullying someone for who they are is called bigotry, or in this case, homophobia. It means that I believe that the definition of marriage is between a man and a woman. Does it mean that I don't think that gay people should have other legal rights? No. Actually, yes. An inch is as good as a mile, really. If they can't do everything you can, then you're better than they are. By taking away their ability to do everything can, you're trying to make yourself better. Does it mean that I have absolutely no tolerance for people that are gay? No. It would seem you don't, from those acts, but given my suspicion of who you are (and thereby knowing you, at least a while back) I'm willing to take you at your word and say you /do/ have tolerance. It does mean that I may have my opinions, like maybe I think that just because someone "comes out" doesn't mean they can go willy nilly and do whatever they want. Willy nilly and what? Get married, as a method of showing their commitment to their partner? No, god forbid the gays do that! Who said anything about going willy nilly? They just want to get hitched, get the fuck over it.Sure, there are lot of other things they go around doing other than prop-8 related things Bigots tend to not just do one thing, true. I'm shocked., and I'm not even talking about that now....actually I'm getting a little ahead of myself... I agree. You're far ahead of yourself. Given your ideas, you're about five, which puts you about ten years ahead of yourself. Get some education, and come back.

But guess what? Just because I don't support gay marriage doesn't mean I want to go throw rocks at them and bully them silly! As I've said, supporting taking away their rights /is/ bullying them, so why bother throwing rocks? You're already bullying them, why do it twice over? Who does that? Bigots. Wanting to stick with traditional marriage is OK. It isn't, actually, in this case, as you're acting like the two have to be mutually exclusive. I understand how people can think that I hate gay people. But guess what? I DON'T. Get that? I do not hate gay people. I recognize that you think you don't, but there's incredible evidence to the contrary. There. Now quit calling me a homophobe and get on with your lives. I don't even know who the hell you are. That'd make it really difficult for me to call you a homophobe. Well, not really. "That idiotic anon who posted on the homosexuality post is a homophobe (look, redundancy!) I love people. ALL PEOPLE. Lies. You're lying, here. You might think otherwise, but it looks like you're just another bigot (Whoa, I'm getting sorta worked up Hardly. Caps are just for emphasis, not necessarily to show that you're getting worked up. And besides, passion about something is a good thing, it can show that you have absolute faith in who you are. That's good, except when you're wrong.....sorry bout that... Don't be. Look at the one who edited everything you wrote as a rebuttal.) And I'm going to stick with my opinion, and you guys can sure as heck keep saying I'm an awful person, Believe me, we will, because you are. cuz' apparently you can do anything you want In that case, I'll be at your place in five to rape you. If I can do anything I want, I'm going to wreck you emotionally. . But just to let you know, maybe we as people should start having more tolerance for other people too. There's so much hippocracy here I can hardly even think of a word to describe it. I'll go ahead and leave it as hella. Hella hippocracy. You're preaching tolerance a paragraph after saying you support taking away other people's rights. Maybe we can tolerate that other people believe that a strong family is important, What you're trying to say here is that a family with two dads or two moms can't be strong. Says... who? You? God? That angry man on the street corner preaching the end is nigh? That's the stupidest thing I've heard since the sentence before it. that because I believe in traditional marriage, I am NOT stupid I think you're stupid for acting like it and gay marriage are mutually exclusive. I don't think you're stupid! You just disagree with me, I respect that. I respect you, you're just being wrong to a point where I think you're stupid. But I /totally/ respect you. Come on, those who're reading this guy's blog, you're flipping awesome! It took me like a minute to figure out what the fuck that sentence was supposed to be, but I don't disagree with that.

But maybe we need to tolerate those who maybe are voicing their opinion, Doesn't mean I can't disagree with it, does it? I'd tolerate you, but I'm not supposed to like bigots. Sorry. which I admit is in the minority of the opinion bowl most of the time. I tried, I swear to your god, but I could /not/ figure out what the hell an opinion bowl is. Since when does only the minority voice their opinion, though? And really, how did the bowl come to be involved? I believe that God created men and women for a reason. I don't believe in God, and I don't think we really have a purpose except living for each other. Which I've mentioned. That he created us. I don't have a problem with that, it's just not what I think. And you know what? No, what? I believe that God should be the one to draw the line, and not us. I'm an Atheist, so this sentence is about as not-how-I-think as is possible. But still: I'll go out on a limb and say you're christian. So you're taking your hints from god via the bible. The same bible that endorses slavery, and fails to mention rape in the ten commandments? That is sexist beyond measure? Yeah. Great book to take queues from. I don't have a problem with that, really I don't, until you start using it as a weapon against those who get the shaft in your beloved tome. I believe that as men and women we have free agency, but we also have consequences for what we do. So we have free choice, but there are consequences for our actions? My mind is blown, really. No shit, there are consequences. But what I think you're getting at is you think homosexuality is a choice, and that there should be consequences for that. It isn't. And there sure as hell shouldn't be a consequence for that, unless you okay me slapping your ass and telling you what to do because you're a woman. And I also think that maybe you don't want me to go all preachy on you, Too late. I went preachy on you, but I don't apologize for it. so I'll stop there. Thank your god.But don't go bashing on me because I believe in God, ok? I have never, ever bashed someone for their belief in god. I'll freely bash your holy tome, because it's racist, sexist, and homophobic, but I'll never bash you for having faith in a creator an afterlife. I did for a considerable amount of time, and I know it's comforting. I stopped believing in it, but I'm not going to give you shit about it. I mean sure you can, and you probably want to after everything that I've ranted about. No, I want to rant to you about what you ranted about. I bashed your tome a bit, though, just so you'll feel good for provoking me.

Just know that I do not hate gay people. Again, overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I have my opinion, Go ahead and have it, I just disagree with it. I noted why in red. There's a lot of red. I do not support gay relationships, I noticed. It's horrifyingly obvious. but I also don't yell and scream at them true, to my knowledge, but as I said, you want them to have their rights taken away? What kind of shit is that? Why bother yelling, you can just take away things that make their life enjoyable. about how much I don't support it. Then what the /fuck/ do you call this? I don't call them names, You don't need to. Take away their rights, that's plenty. they are people too, No shit. So why act like they aren't? Why act like they're people, just people who are below you? and we're being totally cliche. No, we aren't. It's called feeling passionately about something, which is good. Maybe passion blinded your eyes, so you couldn't tell how stupid you were being. But for the record, I believe in traditional marriage, I got that. Me too, but you can't have it be exclusively traditional. Just say the words: gay marriage isn't wrong. Now learn it, idiot. but I do not hate gays. With each sentence, you say otherwise. Why pretend? There. There? As in over there? As in, over there, where I left my brain so I could unthinkingly leave an unintelligent post in which I not only contradict myself, but I also insult gays dozens of times? Just thought I'd set the record there in a few thousand words. Rather, you fucked up the record. All the red is how much straightening it took. Jeebas. And I'm only goin' anonymous here cuz' I don't have any google account or blog press fancy thing. Utter bullshit, you even say so in the next motherfucking sentence. PLus, I know there's gonna be some argument here and I'd rather just state whatI believe and not have people mock me even more for it You said earlier, about a paragraph and a half earlier, that there are consequences for our actions. I guess I'll rely on your god for this on, or you can grow a fucking pair and admit who you are. If you're going to be stupid, at least admit who you are, otherwise it's practically an admission of idiocy. Which is really in tune with the rest of this post, so I suppose it fits. so.... Sorry to dissapoint. You have no idea how not disappointing it is. Rather, it's fantastic. You're a dream. A contradictory idiot who can't think coherently and makes grand assumptions which aren't true. The part that makes you so dreamy is you're preaching the other side of the argument. If you're going to take the wrong side, then do so quietly and let the good liars who make a little amount of sense (until one looks into what they're saying, of course.)

In summary, this anon is a contradictory idiot for saying they don't hate gays and then providing overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Let this serve as an example, readers, of what I do to those who are wrong. I'm only mean so long as they're stupid. So, I'm basically mean all the time, but I'm also right, so fuck your shit and comment the hell out of this thing.

Post One Hundred Ninety Jesus-Stabbing Nine. (Also, Formspring.DesperateHo)

That I've written, anyway. There's something like 195 up. I think. One sec, checking. Nope, you lot have only seen 167. 168, counting this. Jeebas, I have a ton of drafts. Fuck 'em all.

Anyway, it's 1 AM and I just tore viral infections out of my finger. With my teeth (I'm not joking). Then I did some research and learned that I'm not supposed to dot hat. FFFUUUU- . Yeah.

Look, it's time to rant. About Formspring.Me.

Three weeks ago, even two, I suppose, if anyone had asked me if I'd heard of formspring I would've slapped them and told them that I never spoke of that one weekend in Vegas, because that's my default response for when you lot start babbling gibberish. You're all fucking nuts, so I have to do so quite often. No one questions it, interestingly.

To move on, I'd never heard of that shit. Then this one chick got one, Nicole Papineau, or at least she's the first I remember. I was talking to a dude who mentioned it, and said she always links it blah, blah, blah, we then went on to discuss more manly things. Such is life. Anyway.

So a week later, fucking EVERYONE has one. Stephanie. Tarra. Eddie/Mark/Dibs was going to, but I told him not to. Savior moment, I had a soul (it was the jazz, bro. Don't give me that look.) And now my friend Austin Burrel has one, Stephanie's gnome of a boyfriend (I kid, now stop yelling at your monitor) has one, I mean, HELL, peeps. What's come over you?

I get formspring. It's really easy. You get the chance to have anonymous people ask you all kinds of questions about your sex life, and you don't even really have to deal with them. That someone asks is enough, and your ego is fed. It's simple, it's vain, it's STUPID.

FUCK Formspring.

Also, be sure to ask me anything... in the comments, because I have a brain and so do you lot. But if you all go anon I'm going to laugh my ass off. Then be sad. D:

ADDENDUM TIME! :D

If you lot want to read this, it's going to pretend to be a little decent, ya know?

I hate formspring for more, I think. Not just for what it is, but for what it /isn't/. Bear with me for a moment.

I blog for a variety of reasons, chief among them that I get to be an arrogant bastard and you lot are too busy laughing to argue (I hope. Really, I hope this is still entertaining.) Also up there, though, after feeding my ego and getting chicks, is what it encourages: writing. And since you have to write about /something/, it encourages thinking.

I make it no secret that I hate stupidity. I have no problem with those who are mentally retarded, or have a legit excuse like that, but people who let themselves be stupid just pisses me off. Really, it does. They have plenty of brain to use, and they let the miracle of nature that is grey matter just rot in their heads. That pisses me off. Endlessly, it makes me rage. RAAAGEEE!

Formspring doesn't make you think. It makes you answer questions. "But Anthony," you say, after admiring my likeness, "couldn't that be a good thing? Couldn't formspring.me be a vehicle for making people question their beliefs, or challenge themselves? The anonymity could help people ask things they don't have the guts to do in person, as well."

Those are two separate problems I have with formspring.desperateho, and as such they get two separate paragraphs, respectively ordered.

Yes and no. The emphasis in that question is /could/. Yes, formspring.bloggerisbetter /could/ be a vehicle for deep thought and challenging questions. It /could/ be home to interesting debate, where a person is forced to defend themselves against a slew of inquiry. Let's be honest, though. It can be, it always will have the opportunity to be a home to deep thought, but it never, ever will be. It's human nature, I've ranted about it before. Though in this case, it's not a deep, interesting thing, the polar opposite: formspring.notforthosewithbrains will never, ever be home to deep thought because the people who inhabit it let themselves be stupid, and are as such incapable of said intelligent thought.

Also, anonymity is a double-edged sword. While it can give people courage, it's more often used as an excuse to dodge consequences for your actions. Imagine how much you could get away with if you couldn't be detected by anything. You were, effectively, invisible, untouchable, and security alarms didn't work on you or what you were holding. You would turn to theft, and you know it. Such is anonymity. That same indetectability, but on the interwebs. As such, on the interwebs it's used for general douchebaggery (and theft, to be honest. 4chan is probably responsible for more than a few thieveries.)

So what we're left with is a haven for douchebaggery and sex references. That's it. You go on a chick's formsping.idiocy, you see a few dozen questions about her bra size, and the rest are about sex. That's it. Douchebaggery is more limited, but it's there. Less so, but it's there. In summary, then, I hate formspring.fakevirgin for being a haven for idiocy and immaturity.

I Actually Wrote A Whole Post Yesterday / Music

But it was done at two in the morning, so you can imagine the shitty quality. I should start a second blog for that kind of shit. Anyone agree/disagree/wanttoblowme?

Grossly inappropriate requests aside, I haven't done a legit post since all of Saturday. Being three whole days ago, it's time for another. besides, I'm sure all of you want me to stop being so damn mopey (apologies for that, but I do thank those few of you who still read for commenting).

As you might be able to tell from the ridiculously long title, this post is about music. Three paragraphs in, I'd like to get on with that.

Noise is hard to describe. Technically, all sound is compressed air, but the literal, clinical descriptions of things are often incapable of describing their true nature. Noise is... not quite music. It's close, but not quite, which is why I'm starting with it. Noise is sound that is meant for the background, and never more. It /is/ a background, something to simply be and fill up the room so it doesn't feel lonely (which, of course, my room never is, if you catch my drift. ;) ). Noise lacks the capacity to be focused on for more than the briefest periods of time, but is by no means insignificant. Music arose from noise, when people improved upon their hollowed-stick-whacking until it could be focused on and enjoyed for its beauty, its passion, its soul, even. From this difference, this line of eloquent complements that could go on forever, arose Music.

Music is noise the same way a square is a rectangle. That is to say, music can be used as noise as a square can be treated as a rectangle, but never vice versa. Well, not quite. What some consider noise others consider music (see, for example, dubstep), and that is crucial in understanding music. Music is a very individual thing. I do not share an exact taste in music with anyone else because I am not the same person as anyone else. Music speaks directly to one's inner self, even, with the most passionate music taken (like a drug, almost, I'll elaborate on that later) at the right time, to one's soul. For those of you with souls, at least (I only have a soul when I listen to soft jazz).

I'm listening to soft jazz right now, actually. I've mentioned it before, but I'll say it again: this jazz track, [protip: link, mofo] from some video game, I think, is one of the greatest pieces of soft jazz (blues?) I've ever heard in my life. EVER. This is because it relaxes me. It calms me and puts me in a fantastic mood, where I can forget being such a sadistic bastard and enjoy having a soul once more. (Orange soda has a similar effect on me, if anyone's wondering, that's part of why I drink it so much). Music can, even in those fancy Harvard (or some fancy college, I forget which) labs, have a profound effect on the human body. Seriously, some dudes in lab coats did some stuff and found out it speaks to you. Or something. I read the article waaaay back, so I don't remember (if I read it at all! Ha!) The point of this odd, rambling paragraph is that music speaks to you in ways even yours-silver-tongued-truly can't. And that's impressive.

I know you can't tell, but I just took a minute to re-read the status where you lot requested this. I do care. (Also, one day I'd LOVE to live-blog, where you people can watch me post. It'd be really fuckin' neat. Anyone agree? COMMENT.)

Music has, as my beloved big bro AJ (who may or may not read this anymore. Confuzzlement goes *here* ), two sides: Soul and Theoretical Complexity. Both are expressed incredibly well in the many forms of Jazz, in my opinion, moreso than anywhere else. I'll get to that in a bit.

Journal moment, bear with me: I was talking to Annette (who I think is still angry at me right now. Whatever.) on Friday. She was writing out some music in... music form. That kind with all the funny scribbles that represent half-notes and those circles that are really long and all those dashes /everywhere/. I can't read music, in case you hadn't picked up on that. Thing is, there's that, the numbers, and how each and every individual instrument is implemented (for example, in Dubstep, the bass (as in the electronic kind, not the four-stringed guitar) is used to keep the beat, and the drums aren't. This is very, very different than almost any style of music that involves the drums) are all there, fucking shit up. Music is complicated.

But as I said, music speaks to you. I mean, I've listened to music that perfectly fit my mood at the time (for example, thinking about girlfriend while 'Alive With the Glory of Love' played) and it was fucking euphoric. Not good, not great, EUPHORIC. Music does things to you you can't even imagine.

While I'm sometimes a fairly logical guy (see: why I became an agnostic atheist, winning at math/chem/life, knowing exactly how to do your mother), I'd have to concede that soul is more important than theoretical complexity when listening to music. There's no law, of course, that the two can't be intertwined, of course. Some incredibly powerful songs are very, very complex. And that just adds to the number of ways they can be enjoyed.

I wish you could tell, I just took a half hour break. Fun.

Remember earlier, I said music is a drug? Again, fairly journalistic bit to explain (yay! Empiricism!) I went, last summer, to a summer camp called Cherry Valley. Good times, then, what with Scuba Diving, candy, swimming, kayaking, shooting, et cetera, but I missed two things over the course of my weeklong stay: My then-girlfriend Devon, and music. See, I'd left my iPod at home. Which meant my only source of music was my buddy Francis's iPod, and I didn't find out about that until three days in.

Three days without music. All it took. I was messed up. I /needed/ a music fix, and I needed it right that moment. When Francis let me borrow his iPod, I took it, went straight to my tent, got on my cot, closed my eyes and spent half an hour with Led Zepplin.

It was one of the greatest half hours of my life.

Afterwards, I was happier, more energetic... fuck, I'd been in withdrawl from a good, electric six string and the wonders it can work in the hands of a master. Music is the ultimate drug. Once you've started listening... /try/ to go a week without it. It's awful. Trust me. You may think I'm being overdramatic. I'm not. I /NEED/ music in the same way Nikki Sixx /needed/ heroin.

Drug references aside (I bought the Heroin Diaries today. Leave it alone.), music can be a very simple, day-to-day thing. Admittedly, so can heroin (oh, shit, I said I was done with the drug references...), so maybe it's more like a drug we all take, every day, and no one says anything. Still, it's a comforting method of self-medication, without all that nasty cancer and prison time. (And it's really, REALLY hard to OD on music.) So don't worry that you're addicted to Hendrix. We all love us some purple haze, man.

I love music. All music. Except for the kinds I don't like. Look! Generalizations time!

First, let's start with crap. I mean rap. Can't spell crap without rap, yaknowwhatImean? It can be a very expressive, powerful thing (Linkin Park, for example, or the Flobots) or it can be utter bullshit (like, well, most rap.) Rap, in general, lacks most instruments and is about the vocalist "banging" that "ho" who he's objectifying, let's be honest. I hate most rap.

Then there's rock, which is huge. Almost anything you listen to on a /ton/ of stations can be called rock, and probably has been a dozen times. A TON of good bands are rock, and there's also a fuckton of shittacular bands ruining my music the way, say, kagel ruins the English language. Mixed bag, but often a rock band will have at least one good song.

Electronica/Techno: I don't listen to much, though it can be pretty good. Interesting style, can be noise or music, but for the most part it's enjoyable. I especially like the stuff that's very fast. It gets the blood pumping, and is good for dancing (in a certain way). I'd listen happily, but I just enjoy Rise Against and Motley Crue more than I do Daft Punk.

Yes, there's many, many, MANY more styles of music to cover. That's what the comment box is for. Respond, talk about your favorite kinds of music, pretend you care what I think, the usual.

This Is A Very Odd Post

As I'm in a very odd mood. It's almost like a journal post, but I think that you guys will be able to relate.

Challenging yourselves. Not how fast you can run or how high you can jump, but challenging your own beliefs. When I lost my faith in God, it was a very, very stressful event. Religion was something I'd been raised with, and to give it up was a very painful thing. I lost something I'd accepted as an integral part of myself.

What has me thinking on this takes a minute to explain. Just bear with me for a paragraph or two, alright?

Today was a lazy day. I got up, went to karate, came home and played mass effect two for six hours. Good times, but it's not like I'm getting much done (except for the female romantic interest in the game, but whatever. Serious post.). So I take a break, about ten minutes ago, and I look on facebook because I have nothing better to do. I look at my messages in case I need to add to an ongoing conversation between a friend and I (it's lasted a month so far. :D ), and I start to look through the older ones. Fond memories from the past, in message form, like a party a few weeks ago, or my return to California.

I don't know how, but something caught my eye. An old message from Shannon. Don't think I'm here to bash her, I'm not. I've done plenty of that in the past and I'm not about to do it right now. No, I read it, and it really hit me. She was kind. Considerate. She praised me and thanked me for what she did, and even apologized for her harshness in that blog of hers.

Many things I've never done.

I'm not sure if this is meant to be an apology, or what. I've considered that in the past, but I've always come back to the deep-rooted hatred I have for her, and the same reasons I have to justify it (thoroughly necessary, let me note, without them there's hardly an excuse, now is there?). I've discussed why I hate her before. I tell people it /all the time/. Always the same reasons, always the same excuse for what one might deem cruelty.

Is it still cruelty if it's justified?

I don't know. Tell me, readers, is it? And more importantly, is it justified in the first place?

You've seen a lot of the drama that's gone down between Shannon and I. It's entirely online nowadays, so I bring it along to you people to laugh and to criticize. But in for a twist I will surely regret, I'm posting this to see if you want to criticize /me/.

Me, readers. I want to know how you honestly feel about a lot of this, especially given what I've just now noted (earlier. Look back, before the sappy bullshit.) But I'd also like to urge you to remember her actions more recently, like barging in on /my/ relationship, when I had it, with Lydia.

Tell me. Please. Comment, facebook it, call me, text me, tell me in person, whatever. Just let me know somehow. I really want to know if this is something I need to rethink.

I honestly can't even tell anymore.

Jackets.

First off, if you're reading this, this post is dedicated to Anette, who really shouldn't be ignoring me since I'm such a sweet freakin' guy. Now then:

Every man needs a good jacket. They're an integral part of every man's wardrobe. Let's examine why.

First off, the style factor. While I may not be the most qualified to say so, I think a man looks better in a jacket. Let's be honest, here. It makes him look as though he has a nice figure (either quite lean and tall, or with those like mine, well built and... tall.) barring excessive fatness like that found on Max Moore, it's quite the piece for the stylish man's chest.

Next, heat. This is twofold: first, you laughably weak humans are always complaining about being cold in winter, even though in winter on Shaq'ath we have to burrow to the core just to prevent from totally freezing. As such, your classy jacket can also serve to trap your body heat, yada yada, you stay warm. Far more important, however, is the fact that girls get cold too. If you're a gentleman, like yours truly, you'll leap at an opportunity to give a lady your jacket, so she may stay warm while you suck it up.

Speaking of ladies: Girls have a thing for mens' clothing. My sisters still steal mine. I've come to the understanding it's because the clothing that our beloved females don is a bit... tight in order to, shall we say, maximize their assets. Looser, comfier, mens' clothing is much, much more appealing, so they'll go ahead and steal our jackets if we're close with them (and by steal, I mean we offer it to them and they keep it. Just how it goes, shell out twenty and get another, scrooge) which presents you with a wonderful opportunity to get closer to them. If they're your girlfriend, it's a great excuse to go to their place.

So, in summary, a jacket makes a man look better, keeps him from being blue in the face, and with it's marvelous applications in wooing the opposite gender, it keeps him from being blue in the balls, as well. What a wonderful piece of cloth engineering.

The End.

Holy shit. I can't believe I'm actually posting this, this is insane.

Alright, I can. This is your beloved Anthony speaking. This is the end of the blog.

It's been a good run, 163 posts full of awesome. Well, 164, I suppose, with this. The East Coast Blog Project has been more than I dared dream. I mean, I've managed almost two dozen readers, apparently, which blows my mind. I can't believe I got to so many posts, or so much controversy and hell, all because of one ex girlfriend and maybe, maybe a little talent on my part.

Things change, though. The blog never really had a chance, did it? Let's be honest, no one reads blogs. You lot comment, but I can't do this any more. It's too much.

I spend /hours/ on each post, and dozens don't even get published. Some of you know just how many are sitting as drafts, just lying there because I can't bring myself to finish them or show you lot my efforts. It's sad, pathetic, even, but it's true: I'm not up to this any more.

I can hardly even think of post ideas any more. The deep series was great, for a while, but I can hardly even post on the more controversial topics without offending half of my precious audience.

I've moved on. I nerf, I do martial arts, I listen to more and more music, there are occasionally girls in my life, and I'm still a boy scout, I'm getting a summer job and on top of it all I have a shockingly existent social life. What I'm trying to say is: there's no more room in my life.

All of this adds up to this: The End. This is the last post I will ever write for 48 Hours.

I'd like to dedicate this to you guys, however. You guys who commented, who read every post and even called me a great writer once in a while. It kept me going, and I wouldn't have reached twenty posts without you lot. I love you all.

Especially you, Conor. You've commented on nearly every post, you never fail to read them, and you add so much to my posts. Halley, you've been here from day freakin' one and talked about (and commented on, once in a while) quite a few of my posts. This was fun, and thank you. All the others - AJ, Tarra, Random Asian, Jenna, Austin, so many more who I can't even name now, you all rock. Thank you for supporting one suburban aspiring gearhead genius's attempt at an interesting blog.

I love you all, and thank you.

Also, happy April Fool's Day.